SleepingPoliceman

I: …that the top headline on the biggest sports news outlet in the world would be discussing a retired athlete expressing his interest in coming back to the game, you probably would have thought it wasn’t that big a deal. But the fact that it’s all about him sending a text message to his former boss makes it a weird cross between a subtle “you’re in the 21st century now, son” reminder and a unique version of the gossip rag staple “Stars…they’re just like us!” Hey, I send text messages. Brett Favre sends text messages. I…I’m just like Brett Fav…ruh!

ESPN.com: Report: Favre sends text message to Packers GM Thompson

Note: This was not a text message about coming out of retirement; it was just a text message. It might have been something like, “Dude, u see that Japanese game show thing? so weird. lol. l8r.” BREAKING NEWS!

II: …that we were still debating whether or not gay people to serving in the military would impede our ability to win a war, you would have thought I was kidding. And probably a little homophobic. Well, how about if I told you that it was newsworthy that someone actually had to do a whole study to make this point? Would it make you feel embarrassed for everyone involved in everything? Probably.

boston.com: Study: Military gays don’t undermine unit cohesion

Then there’s this guy:

“The issue is trust and confidence” among members of a unit, said Lt. Col. Robert Maginnis, who retired in 1993 after working on the issue for the Army. When some people with a different sexual orientation are “in a close combat environment, it results in a lack of trust,” he said.

Can I assume from the context of this quote that the right reverend Lt. Col. left the Army after working on this? Could he really not handle the issue, and he had to hand in his uniform to go take a 15 year bath? Or were his quotes manipulated so it seems that he’s channeling his inner Gareth? And what’s his justification for thinking like this?

Supporters of the ban contend there is still no empirical evidence that allowing gays to serve openly won’t hurt combat effectiveness.

Writers of this post contend there is no empirical evidence that Lt. Col. Magenius isn’t really super gay himself. I’ve seen no evidence to categorically prove that isn’t true. Prove the negative, sir…prove it!

III: …that the phrase “the storied New England Patriots football team” would be used in an actual news article, and that it wasn’t a joke or a statement of ultimate irony…you not only wouldn’t believe me, you’d probably walk away shaking your head at my foolishness.

Christian Science Monitor: China trains 200,000 cheerleaders – for other Olympic teams

What a weird, weird world we live in. “Poisemanship,” indeed.