SleepingPoliceman

CNN: Hulk Hogan’s son seriously injured in car wreck

Clearly, like any auto accident, this is a horrible thing, and I hope both Nick and his friend come out OK.

That being said…there’s a few nuggets of gold in here. First of all, will this be covered on a “very special episode” of the Hulk Hogan reality show? Can we maybe see the Hulkster cry? And, even if cameras weren’t rolling while this was going on, will this lead to them rejiggering the opening credits so as to not show a half-animated version of Nick speeding home past other cars?

Furthermore, I wonder if it’s cool or annoying that you are not known by your actual last name, but the fake performer last name of your father’s wrestling persona.

Finally, there’s the police spokesman:

The car “inexplicably left the roadway,” jumped a median and crashed into a palm tree just east of downtown … “It was a spectacular wreck,” Shelor said.

I know the police spokesman didn’t mean for this to sound like, “OMG, it was totly farkin sweet!!111″…but it still kinda does.

fake edit: if you think the second paragraph of this post means that I’ve religiously watched the last two episodes of Hogan Knows Best…well, you’re right. But it comes on right after the best show on TV right now, Rock Of Love. After an hour of pure unadulterated greatness, how can you even think about changing the channel? What can I do? And by that I mean…what’s-uh goinnnn’ AWN?

1. BostonHerald.com: Wily Mo’s message

Drew Bledsoe showed everyone how to do it, so it really shouldn’t be a surprise when players leave town gracefully. But nevertheless, it still is. Wily Mo, you done good. Good luck in D.C. I hope you learn how to hit breaking balls and come back to hit 40 home runs for us.

2. Sportsline: Knicks star Marbury defends Vick, calls dogfighting a sport

Stephon Marbury: not quite getting the point. It is interesting that society is a thousand times more outraged about Vick torturing and killing dogs than they would have been if he had tortured and killed a woman. But, you know, people like dogs…they don’t like thinking about them killing each other (or being killed) for people’s amusement. Maybe we can put Starbury and Ron Mexico in a pit with some of these dogs that are trained to kill, and we can watch them get torn apart. You know…as a sport.

3. TEX: 30, BAL: 3

All the Cowboys/Ravens jokes have been made. I just want to say: holy crap. It can’t feel good to be an Orioles fan right about now. And this might also put a damper on the announcement of the manager’s contract extension that came a couple hours before the game started. Good luck, Trembley. You’re gonna need it.

4. redsox.com: Fantasy Day Camp

I’m letting jz take over:

> At Fenway Park – Wednesday, September 19, 2007
>
> Your day will include:
> – A customized Red Sox jersey and Red Sox cap

Yes.

> – Participate in an hour baseball game ON THE FIELD AT
> FENWAY PARK with your family in the stands (each
> participant can invite up to five guests)

Yes.

> – You will be assigned to a team of 20 players and a
> time slot to play the game. Game times will be assigned
> on a first come first served basis.

YES.

> – Individual photograph of you in your Red Sox home
> jersey with the World Series trophy

YES!

> – Sign your name on Pesky’s Pole

SWEET!

> – Cost per player: $1,750

Oh. Nevermind.

True and true.

Saturday was a pretty kick ass day. To whit, a brief outline:

-Woke up when Lisa was getting ready for work. (Note: it would have been more kick ass if Lisa didn’t have to work. For reals…I’m not just saying that because she will shiv me otherwise. Though she, of course, would.) Anyway, I got up and ready some Harry Potter. (Finally finished books 6 and 7. Good times.) Then…I went back to sleep for a while. Yay for sleep.

-’Round 11:30 I headed down to catch the “Futures At Fenway” minor league doubleheader at Fenway. (So-called because the players on the team will someday play at Fenway in the future, when they make the majors…playing for San Diego or Florida or Cincinnati, or some other small-market team that we’ll trade with to get a bigger named player.) Both games were awesome. First up, Lowell and the Hudson Valley something-or-others dueled to a 1-1 tie in the 9th. A tie which was broken when a guy (who is probably about 19) smacked the hardest hit ball of the day over the right fielder’s head to knock in the winning run. The entire Lowell team (including the guys in the bullpen) ran out to second base, where this guy was jumping uo and down like he was Joe Carter. The youths were very excited. It was nice to see.

-Second game: great in a completely different way. Instead of a pitcher’s duel, it was all offense all the time. It started in the top of the first, when a Harrisburg Senator knocked a pitch up into the Monster seats (and here we were thinking no one would be strong enough to even get an extra base hit in a major league ballpark). After many baserunners and lead changes, the Sea Dogs entered the bottom of the 9th down by two, after Harrisburg broke a hard-earned tie in the 8th. Then a string of hits culminating in a shot down the left field line led to another walk-off win, this time 12-11. Two great games in two completely different ways…good times.

-After the second game, I wandered over to Comm Ave and walked down to the Agganis Arena. I knew that Muse were playing there that night, with Cold War Kids opening up. (Note: the Cold War Kids apparently have the most pretentious splash page of any band ever. They’re better than that makes them look, I promise.) I didn’t have a ticket, but I knew that it was a stretch for a promoter to think Muse would fill Agganis at this stage in their career. So I lingered outside to try to procure a ticket, with a budget of $25 as my max expenditure. (Face was $37.)

After wandering for a while and being the jerk who asks, “Anybody selling tickets?” I asked a guy who was standing near an ‘FNX station van. Turns out he was with ‘FNX. He said he couldn’t help me…then looked at my Soapbox Laundro-Lounge t-shirt and said, “Well, if that had said Sandbox, we could help you.” My response was, I believe, “Uhhhhhhhh…” Two other guys then explained that they were the hosts of The Sandbox, the station’s new morning show. Then someone else who was sitting nearby asked me how many tickets I needed. I said just one. An stack of envelopes with a few loose tickets on top came out of a bag, and one was handed to me. I thanked them vociferously, and said I would listen to their show all the time. I have yet to do that. I will, however, plug the hell out of them even though I have no idea of the quality of their program. So…

Listen to The Sandbox, weekday mornings from 6am to 10am, only on WFNX, 101.7 Boston, 92.1 New Hampshire, and over the web at wfnx.com. Catch the ‘box fever!

Or whatever. Anyway, the show was great. And free. And great. And free. And great because it was free. I’ll write a review at some point soon…after I write a review of the last three concerts I went to and have yet to post about. Oh, I’m so far behind…

-After the concert, I met Lisa for dinner at Uno’s. I got a deep dish pizza. It was delicious. Then I recommitted to eating healthy. Starting…Sunday. Saturday had been too good a day for salads.

1. ESPN: Selig announces no discipline for Giambi

“Yes, using steroids is a blight on the game, and will forever taint this era and my tenure as a commissioner. We were going to punish him for admitting that he cheated, but…well, you know, he’s back on the field and doing good for the Yankees. It was one thing when he wasn’t playing, and us punishing him would have let them free up some salary. But since he’s contributing and all…I think it’s better if we just ride it out. I’m sure he won’t cheat again now that he’s back on the field for such a classy organization.”

Jerks.

2. boston.com: Miller still deciding

I don’t really care about basketball, so Reggie joining the team has little to no effect on me. (Although it would allow for a dramatic increase in the number of times I can say, “Regina Miller, you got nuthin’! Nuthin’!”) (And it’s a crime I can’t link to that commercial on YouTube. A crime.)

Anyway, the important part of this is that there’s a chance that those of us in the Boston area can look forward to more random analogies from Kevin Garnett…such as this:

“It’s like stucco and concrete,” Garnett told Patrick when asked about the possibility of the Celtics adding Miller. “Stucco is really good for the house … it’s solid, it’s firm. But you do have those cases where water leaks into the stucco. You don’t have that problem with concrete. You put Reggie into this mix and we got concrete.”

Yes…stucco. And concrete. How…obvious.

3. The Onion: Fucking Yankees, Reports Nation

Hilariously, amazingly, mind-numbingly unfortunately true. (Kudos to jz for pointing this article out to me…I don’t go the Onion that much anymore, for whatever reason.)

As per P.T.’s request…

No wonder he held onto the bat – look how long the catcher’s arm is!!!!

*rim shot*

Original story

The hype put out by the pro-shark, lobby that is.

boston.com: Odds of dying from…

They want you to believe that it’s more dangerous to be in your kitchen or your car than in the ocean. That sharks aren’t really lurking behind every wave, waiting to chomp down on you. But they are. Of course they are. Look, this is how sharks and their strong PAC lobbyists lure you back to the water: by creating a false sense of security that there’s not real threat or danger. The greatest trick the Great White ever pulled, etc etc.

Haven’t you ever seen what happens when we listen to people like this guy?

That’s right…we get this:

Don’t buy into it. Swim in a pool. Keep ‘em hungry. It just might save your life.

I don’t know what the hell is going on with IGN and GameSpot, but I’ve been noticing more and more video games with completely differing reviews. And it sucks. Up until 8 or 10 months ago, it was a pretty safe bet that IGN’s and GameSpot’s reviews would vary by no more than half a point. But apparently all that’s changed.

Case in point, there’s a new game out for the DS that’s a continuation of a series that I loved as a kid on my Super NES: Secret of Mana. I spent countless hours playing this game, and I’d jump at the opportunity to pick up a well-received follow-up. I was pretty stoked when IGN reviewed the game and gave it a solid 8.0. So, as I always do, I waited to see what Gamespot had to say. Tonight I check there reviews and there’s Heroes of Mana… with a shitty 5.5 rating.

Are you serious? Are the reviewers really even reviewing the same game? How can there be such a huge discrepancy?

It just doesn’t make sense.

So with all the big traveling and the dearth of blog posting and all that, I very much fell behind and ended up not posting a WPTM playlist last month. I know, I know…you were all crying, concerned for my safety and mental well-being.

But fear not, for I have returned with a thousand years of power. Or two months worth of mixes. That’s right, a double disc summer set…just for you!

Quick story: Lisa and Carmen were over at our place the other night (Lisa’s and mine, not Carmen’s and mine), and they were talking about the forthcoming kitchen renovations. There was much discussion of backsplashes and accent pieces and things of that nature. The decision making processes for how tiles and paint samples are selected were reviewed in great detail. I was very bored. I then realized that this is what people must feel like when I’m talking about how I make mix CDs. So I’m not going to talk about the back story of any of this. You shouldn’t care about it anyway. Here are the track lists:

WPTM Summer 2007

Disc One: The Heave And The Hue (WPTM June 2007)
01. The Other Half – Marillion
02. Icky Thump – The White Stripes
03. Ever Present Past – Paul McCartney
04. Forget Myself – Elbow
05. Caring Is Creepy – The Shins
06. A Strange Education – The Cinematics
07. Car (live) – Built To Spill
08. Bang A Gong (Get It On) – T. Rex
09. London Loves – Blur
10. Bird On A Wire – Rogue Wave
11. The Ballad Of Jenny Ledge (live) – Kevin Gilbert
12. Keep The Car Running – The Arcade Fire
13. Momma Told Me Not To Come – Three Dog Night
14. What Is And What Should Never Be (BBC Sessions) – Led Zeppelin
15. Blues From Down Here – TV On The Radio
16. Monkey Wrench – Foo Fighters
17. (What’s So Funny ‘Bout) Peace, Love & Understanding – Elvis Costello
18. Killer Cars (live) – Radiohead

Disc Two: Potshots At The Tourists (WPTM July 2007)
01. Miss Spiritual Tramp – Blitzen Trapper
02. Synchronicity II – The Police
03. Tired Of Sex – Weezer
04. Pigeons – Genesis
05. The Rookie – Fish
06. Generator – Foo Fighters
07. Spanish Dance Troupe – Gorky’s Zygotic Mynci
08. Strictly Incognito – Tony Banks
09. Kenesaw Mountain Landis (live) – Jonathan Coulton
10. Not One Of Us – Peter Gabriel
11. Rich Girl – Hall & Oates
12. Circular Ride – Marillion
13. Black Magic Woman – Elbow
14. Too Kool To Kalypso – Klark Kent
15. How We Roll – Plushgun
16. I Know What I Like (live 2007) – Genesis
17. You Don’t Know What Love Is (You Just Do As You’re Told) – The White Stripes
18. The World Just Gets Smaller – Giraffe
19. In The Time We’ve Got – The One AM Radio

Copies etc.

boston.com: New law expands power to wiretap

So the White House continually flaunts and disregards the current law, doing whatever it wants regardless of people’s rights…and the response is to loosen the laws and give him more power? Interesting move, Congress.

Just before midnight on Saturday, Congress passed the Protect America Act of 2007, which was largely drafted by the White House and received no committee hearing.

Yeah, I generally do the things that I’m not ashamed of and that aren’t suspect at all just before midnight on the weekends and without going through the normal procedural channels. And does our current government have an “Orwellian Lingo For Dummies” book lying around somewhere in D.C.? They’re trying to make the names of these things funny at this point, right?

Second, Bush has said his original surveillance program was restricted to calls and e-mails involving a suspected terrorist, but the new law has no such limit.

Now they don’t have to lie when it comes out they were spying on their political enemies…it’s fully legal.

As a check against abuse, the law requires Attorney General Alberto Gonzales and Michael McConnell, director of national intelligence, to design procedures for the program and to submit them for review by a secret national security court that normally approves warrant applications for intelligence-related wiretapping on US soil.

Oh…well, never mind the snarkiness. I didn’t realize that there was a plan in place to “check against abuse,” which will be drawn up by the potential abusers and reviewed by a secret society somewhere. That makes me feel better.

Good job with the mandate, Democrats…you’re really shoring up support for ‘08 with moves like this. When can we get that viable third party up and running, again?

Fake edit: OK, OK…technically 287 pairs of jeans. But all of them shoulder the blame for this.

The car I currently drive was purchased by my parents during my junior year in high school. A brand new 1995 Subaru Legacy, it was the “new car” when I learned how to drive. As such, my dad wanted me to have nothing to do with it. Instead, I got close to free reign over the old Chevy Cavalier, which boasted such features as a radio and windows and a driver’s side rearview mirror. (It was, uhh, not very fancy.) Occasionally, I got to drive the Subaru, but only in extreme circumstances…and the times when I did drive it caused my dad to react the same way my mother would react whenever I would drive at all.

Cut to last night…when, after 12 years of existence and almost three years of legitimate ownership by me, the odometer on the old XAH rolled over to 100,000 miles on the stretch of Elm Street between the Flynn Rink and the Econo Gas Station (right near the Medford-Only Pond). That car has seen a lot of use in her day, and apparently has driven a hell of a lot of miles. I have no idea why this milestone (so to speak) seemed so important…but I honked my horn and pumped my fist like we had just won a championship.

So Happy Mile Day, Paps…I’m very proud of you. And you have made me think of two things. First, since you are really old, I must be incredibly old. And secondly, I really need to bring you in for an oil change. Sorry about that.