SleepingPoliceman

IMG_0789, originally uploaded by icerif.

Yikes.

Simple enough question – at what point would you lose your cool? Here’s a recap of Tara’s and my recent adventure to Breckenridge, Colorado.

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Sorry…Oscar wrap-up. I just assumed they were going to change the name of the whole thing now.

I thought it was a surprisingly good show last night. I’ll admit my expectations were low because Ellen was hosting. However, she did a good job – she reminded me more of the comedian that used to be a regular on Stand Up Stand Up clips back in the day, and not the annoying chick from her own TV shows. The tamborine/gospel choir thing fell flat, but pretty much every other component of her low-key, deadpan delivery was well suited to the event. And I’m glad she didn’t wear a dress – it doesn’t matter to me, but I’m sure it pissed of some people. Good for her.

Other elements of the show: the Ferrell/Black/Reilly song was actually funny, which I didn’t think would be the case when it started. I especially liked when Ferrell botched Reilly’s name, and when they said they wouldn’t mess with Marky Mark because he’s too badass. Decent, even if Jack Black needs to go away for a while. The weird dancers-forming-silhouettes thing was sort of stupid, but also kind of cool. They only were on screen for about 10 seconds at a time, so they never were around long enough to really piss me off. Some of the speeches were great (I’m thinking specifically of Forest Whitaker and one of the short film winners), and very few totally sucked (get off the stage, costume lady…although you thanks Kubrick, so I’ll even give her a pass). Seinfeld’s random bit of standup was out of place, but it was funny so I won’t hold that against him. The Lucas/Coppola/Spielberg schtick was schtick-y but worked, even if it totally telegraphed that Marty was going to win. And Jack was in the front row, bald as Britney. What more can you ask for?

Discussion of the actual awards after the jump.

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Sorry for the lack of posts around here recently. Between a new job and frequent evening diversions, I haven’t been able to contribute as much as I’d like. We’re going to do our best to improve efficiency around the organization.

Anyway, as we’re less than five hours away from the Oscars, I guess I might as well get around to making my picks. I used to think that I was good at things like this, but recent history has proven me wrong. Still, you’re going to get them, whether you like it or not. Thankfully, since they’re being posted so late, there’s no fear anyone will use these in a money-based pool…you probably would lose your five bucks.

Picks after the jump.

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Fox.com: “Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader?”

The debate is on…will this be a funny little reminder of genial idiocy, or another sign that our society has become so ignorant and bloated that it will soon collapse upon itself? Only Jeff Foxworthy can answer that for us.

May God have mercy on us all.

Things that might happen when you can’t fall asleep include finding a random blog post that has a compilation of WXPN’s “listener’s lists” of the top 50 albums from 1993 through 2006.

The lists are fascinating, and serve to show the whims and fickleness of even the highest quality radio listeners (for instance, they rank White Blood Cells and Get Behind Me Satan, but no love for Elephant?). There’s also the “whoops, we caught on a little too late” element of having inferior second albums by Franz Ferdinand and The Killers when the debuts are nowhere to be found. I was also amazed that even ‘XPN listeners missed out on either/or in the pre-Good Will Hunting era, but the inclusion of Gilbert’s thud more than makes up for that.

Even more engrossing: the challenge to see how many of these albums you have in your collection. From my quick tally, I believe I have 66 of the 700 listed here. (It would be much higher if I liked Beck and Dave Matthews, much lower if I didn’t like Sting and Radiohead.) And as I already sort of knew, I really took a big leap forward in my new music consumption in ‘05 and ‘06. Anyway, I don’t know if 66 is a high or low number…I guess being close to 10% is solid. Or shameful. I can never tell.

If you’re interested, my scrap notes for this trifle of an exercise are after the jump. (Feel free to check my math if you want…it’s late, and I’ve already screwed up simple arithmatic once this weekend.)

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Reebok’s NFL page: Da Bears Fans with Adam Vinatieri

I don’t even know where to begin feeling bad about this. What is sadder: Norm from Cheers having to schlub in a sneaker commercial, or Joe Mantegna having to step in because Mike Myers is too good for it? Or maybe it’s the palpable reminder that poor Chris Farley’s “that’ll make it a baker’s dozen, Bob” line was all-too prescient? Or maybe it’s the fact that Vinatieri has won four Super Bowls, and this is the best ad he can land…one that is only slightly less embarassing than the Papa Gino’s “It’s good!” one.

No, wait, I know…the saddest thing of all is that Adam is a Colt. Ugly…just ugly.

2003: go to LAX for cross country flight with giant cast on my leg. Almost abandoned at airport when porter leaves right after delivering me to the gate, and the flight attendant dude announces that they are skipping the “frequent fliers and people who need help getting on the plane” part of the pre-boarding process. Upon returning to Melrose, take up what would eventually be an 18 month residency in my parents’ living room. Daredevil is released theatrically.

2004: with spikes coming out of me, I drive down to New York City to pack up the room that I had foolishly continued to pay rent for in the misbegotten belief that I’d move back there eventually. People who had said they would help me get my stuff together ditch out on me in order to hang out with their new significant others.* As I try to stuff things into bags while only standing on one leg, I find out Alex Rodriguez has been traded to the Yankees. (That seemed like a bad thing at the time.)

2005: Uttery unremarkable. I’m sure I complained about the emptiness of the day while attempting to mask the crippling loneliness just underneath the surface. These attempts likely failed.

2006: Same as before, except this time I was at least preparing for a triumphant return trip to Los Angeles and a long-delayed spectacular event. It wasn’t Europe, but it’d do.

2007: First day at a new job, with numerous questions of cake and coffee. Snow-to-sleet-to-slush-to-ice-to-DHL screwing me over. Long T rides and longer home-cooked meals. Letters that arrived early and trolleys that arrive late. Basically, just another day. Which is probably why it was the best one by far.

Glavin.

*note: for the record, Manlio was not one of those people…and he had a new lady at the time, if I recall correctly. That’s fucking teamwork.

Here’s what I wanted to hear:

• Pressure
• No Man’s Land
• A Matter of Trust
• Storm Front
• The Stranger

Here’s what we actually heard:

1. Prelude/Angry Young Man
2. My Life
3. Everybody Loves You Now
4. Vienna
5. Allentown
6. The Entertainer
7. Zanzibar
8. All About Soul
9. Miami 2017 (Seen The Lights Go Out On Broadway)
10. New York State of Mind
11. Don’t Ask Me Why
12. Movin’ Out (Anthony’s Song)
13. Stand By Me / An Innocent Man
14. Keeping The Faith
15. She’s Always A Woman
16. I Go To Extremes
17. The River of Dreams
18. Highway To Hell (sung by Chainsaw, one of his roadies)
19. We Didn’t Start The Fire
20. Big Shot
21. It’s Still Rock and Roll To Me
22. You May Be Right
23. Only The Good Die Young
24. Scences From An Italian Restaurant
25. Piano Man

None of my top five got played, but it was a great show as usual. I was a little concerned that Billy’s voice wouldn’t be 100%, but, except for a couple of high notes in An Innocent Man, he sounded fantastic. He had a lot of fun on stage, cracking jokes and playing to the crowd. The only downside to the entire show was the traffic outside the arena. It took Tara and me over an hour to actually find parking and get into the stadium.

My favorite songs were All About Soul (because I’d never heard it live before) and the couple of lines from Stand By Me as he went into An Innocent Man (I’ve heard all of his songs hundreds, if not thousands of times, so I always like hearing him sing other songs). Miami 2017 and The Entertainer were awesome as well. The crowd was totally into the entire show.

And we found out last night that Billy’s daughter Alexa will be playing in Atlantis when we go in a couple of weeks. Sweet!

If I wind up crumpled in a heap on the side of a road somewhere in the greater Boston area sometime in the next few weeks, it very well may be the large gentleman who took exception to my honking horn and flipped finger this evening after he blocked North Harvard Street like a dick. He peeled a u-turn and drove about three blocks on the wrong side of the road, yelling at me and trying to get me to step out of my car to fight him. He then rode my bumper for another half mile or so, motioning wildly and throwing his hood over his head everytime we stopped at a light. He finally peeled off onto Memorial Drive in Cambridge, unwilling or unable to follow me into Harvard Square. Fun times.

Anyway, if anything happens to me in or near my car, this guy would be the prime suspect. Because…I don’t know, maybe he’ll track me down or somehow run a trace on my license plate, or randomly recognize me and rekindle his rage. He really wasn’t happy with me at all. Umm…whoops.

In unrelated news, here’s a riddle for you:

Q: How do you consistently win a local collegiate sports competition year in and year out?

A: Always maintain a consistent program with quality players, and make sure the referees in said competition make every call in your favor.

Congrats on another questionable victory, B.U. I’m sure your fortune and absurd officiating karma will do nothing to temper your arrogance and sense of entitlement. You do your Long Island roots proud.