SleepingPoliceman

I don’t know what the hell is going on with IGN and GameSpot, but I’ve been noticing more and more video games with completely differing reviews. And it sucks. Up until 8 or 10 months ago, it was a pretty safe bet that IGN’s and GameSpot’s reviews would vary by no more than half a point. But apparently all that’s changed.

Case in point, there’s a new game out for the DS that’s a continuation of a series that I loved as a kid on my Super NES: Secret of Mana. I spent countless hours playing this game, and I’d jump at the opportunity to pick up a well-received follow-up. I was pretty stoked when IGN reviewed the game and gave it a solid 8.0. So, as I always do, I waited to see what Gamespot had to say. Tonight I check there reviews and there’s Heroes of Mana… with a shitty 5.5 rating.

Are you serious? Are the reviewers really even reviewing the same game? How can there be such a huge discrepancy?

It just doesn’t make sense.

All right, all right…I know that there’s been a marked decrease in content here on the SP. We apologize profusely. Part of the reason, as previously mentioned, was my trip to London. After that, I’ve been settling back in and trying to deal with the mental burden of having to go back to work every day. Man, I need to be one of the idle rich.

While all that’s happening, jz is busy with his fancy book learnin’. He’s so busy he hasn’t even blogged about his iPhone. That will come soon enough, I’m sure.

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Or, “Where we face a fundamental disagreement on the meaning of the word ‘value’.”

As hinted at in Part 1 and Part 2, the hotel we stayed in that Saturday night was…interesting. And by interesting, I mean awful. And also interesting in the “I can’t believe you successfully have stayed in business as long as you have” way. Here’s how this song goes:

Before heading down, Lisa called to see how we could get from the hotel to the downtown/riverfront area. We were considering renting a car and we were doing some pricing of options. So she calls and talks to someone who works there. They say, “Well, it’s a $10-$13 cab ride to downtown, and there’s a shuttle bus that leaves ever half hour from the hotel.” A hotel shuttle bus? Sweet, we’re in. No rental car needed. Good times.

So we land, eventually get a cab, and end up at America’s Best Value Inn around 9am. We ask the young, Rogen-esque dude behind the counter if we can check in early. He says, “No, the room isn’t ready yet.” Fair enough…we are really early. Then we ask him when the shuttle bus leaves. He says, “Uhhh…what?” Lisa explains the phone conversation she had earlier, ending with, “so we were told there was a shuttle bus here.” He shakes his head and opens his eyes wide like he’s trying to shake cobwebs out of his brain, and exclaims, “I don’t know WHO told you that!” So…no shuttle bus. No, what there is is the bus. As in a regular public transportation bus that goes to downtown from the street outside the hotel. Fine, whatever. We can handle that. So we head out to sit on the bench and wait for the bus that comes by every half hour. And we wait. Finally around 9:45, after no signs of any buses anywhere, we check back with the guy at the front desk. “How often do the buses come?” The reply: “Oh, they don’t start until 11am on Saturdays.” Wow…thanks, bro.

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This has been rolling around in my head all morning, so I might as well share it.

1. If your name is on the proverbial sign above the door, then you are the person that clients want to talk to and no one else.
2. Each photographer is responsible not only for taking the pictures but also for all post-processing work associated with their images. What better way for someone to analyze their work and hone their skills? That includes you, too, as the business owner/head photographer.
3. Set a maximum amount/percentage that you’re willing to discount your prices. Once you start giving things away, the perceived value of that item drops to ZERO. From that point on, the client will think that they don’t have to pay for that item ever again.
4. Technology is your friend. Make the most of it! Websites! CD’s! Slideshows! DVD’s!
5. If you have an office and employees, make sure you’re either on location shooting or IN THE OFFICE. It’s your company – don’t leave other people to run it!
6. Be reliable! Don’t reschedule appointments, especially at the last minute. Be on time!
7. Know your employees. Know their strengths and take advantage of the skills they have to offer.

/jz

Despite my need to save money and unsaddle some debt, I splurged a little yesterday and purchased a new iPod. Well, not a new-new iPod…but one of the “refurbished” older model. Finally, a sweet, sweet 60GB music player. And to think, three years ago I was still using a cassette Walkman.

The reason I splurged was because the refurbished model was pretty cheap ($230 instead of the original $449, or the $349 it is for the current-gen 80GB model). It was extra cheap because I decided to finally cash in a Simon debit Visa gift card that I got for Christmas ‘05. I had held onto the gift card for so long, Simon was starting to charge a penalty every month which was being deducted from the account. (Which is totally bullshit, by the way.) Anyway, now was the time to act, and act I did. I split the order between the debit card and my regular credit card, and ended up paying just a little more than a hundred dollars for the new iPod. Good times.

Except today I get an email saying that they can’t process my order because my payments aren’t authorized. Awesome. I had gone through all the steps of tying the debit gift card to my name and address (so I could use it for an online order), so that should be fine. I went and checked…and what Apple does is charge a damn extra dollar before they run an order. Because of that dollar, the amount on the debit card went under the amount I put in to use the card for (since I wanted to wipe off the entire remaining balance), so it was rejected. Every time they tried (three times), they took another dollar. So I went from having $123 on the card to $120. I called them and spoke to a very nice and helpful support guy named Johnny, who switched around the order so it took $119 from the debit card. And it went through fine.

But…fuck them for charging everyone a hidden dollar. The support guy spoke in vague terms about how that’s how they see if the card is legit or something…which is fine if they plan on taking that dollar off the regular order, or refunding that dollar. But I’m sure they don’t. It’s not that big a deal, because it’s just a dollar (or, in this case, four dollars…jerks). But still, it’s a dick move.

Now…send me my iPod, Apple. Please don’t be mad at me. P.T. still loves you, Apple.

Transcript of the President’s Address to the Nation, 1/10/07

The situation in Iraq is unacceptable to the American people and it is unacceptable to me. Our troops in Iraq have fought bravely. They have done everything we have asked them to do. Where mistakes have been made, the responsibility rests with me.

Finally, Bush is stepping up and taking the blame for this whole Iraq thing. Now…where have the mistakes been made, sir?

Our past efforts to secure Baghdad failed for two principal reasons: There were not enough Iraqi and American troops to secure neighborhoods that had been cleared of terrorists and insurgents. And there were too many restrictions on the troops we did have. Our military commanders reviewed the new Iraqi plan to ensure that it addressed these mistakes. They report that it does. They also report that this plan can work.

So…the only reason we haven’t been able to secure Baghdad isn’t because we rolled in without any real plan apart from “We’ll move in and then they’ll all thank us and give us parades, yay!” And it isn’t because the act of toppling another country’s government pisses off the people who live in that country, leading to insurgency. Nope, it’s because we didn’t have enough Americans over there to be shot at. Interesting offer.

Many listening tonight will ask why this effort will succeed when previous operations to secure Baghdad did not.

Accurate.

Well, here are the differences: In earlier operations, Iraqi and American forces cleared many neighborhoods of terrorists and insurgents, but when our forces moved on to other targets, the killers returned. This time, we’ll have the force levels we need to hold the areas that have been cleared.

I guess in all those meetings with your advisors and military leaders and panel members and what-have-you, nobody has come up with the idea of trying to act in a way that will stop people from becoming terrorists and insurgents. That sounds complicated. Having more troops to sweep into neighborhoods and shake people down, without regard for the consequences of such actions, is much easier.

I’ve made it clear to the Prime Minister and Iraq’s other leaders that America’s commitment is not open-ended.

Of course it’s not open-ended…we’re only there until we win. Obviously.

Anyway, I’m not well versed in all this stuff, but an escalation (sorry…surge) seems questionable to me. He’s not really taking any responsibility since he’s not admitting the massive failures of planning and intelligence that led to the war happening in the first place. And even with all the “new plan” talk, it doesn’t sound like things have really changed all that much. But Bush does have the support of the American people on adding more troops to the cause, so what do I know? And by “the American people,” I mean 11% of the American people. The other 89% of us can go screw, I guess.

The end of Bush’s speech:

We go forward with trust that the Author of Liberty will guide us through these trying hours. Thank you and good night.

“The Author of Liberty”? What the hell does that mean? Is he referring to Kimberly Iverson? Stephen Coonts? Maybe Thomas Fleming!

Or…oh, right, I get it. He means God. The Christian God. The Christian God who loves America and democracy and hates the others who are different. Well, as long as we aren’t couching all of this in rhetoric that screams “crusade!” to the Muslim world, I’m sure the extra 20,000 troops will have no problem stopping more Iraqis from turning to extremism to fight against us. This will go well.

Last night, I was driving down scenic Highland Ave. in Somerville and found myself behind a little Honda Civic. What stood out on this otherwise nondescript car was the bumper of the car. More specifically, the Boston Breakers car magnet that was on said bumper.

Now…I understand why one might have purchased a piece of Boston Breakers merchandise. Perhaps the driver has a daughter who plays soccer, and who was excited to follow a professional sports league of members of her gender playing her sport. Or maybe the driver’s a woman, who strongly supported the league because she liked the idea of such a league. The driver could have been directly associated with the team, as a coach or publicist or something. Maybe it was a lecherous guy who finds women soccer players to be particularly attractive (a contention I wouldn’t argue with).

All those are valid reasons for having a Breakers item on your car. In 2003.

I would further understand if it was a bumper sticker. Those are tough to get off, and you can either scrape the bumper or end up with those little sticky flecks of leftover paper still on your car. That’s unattractive. So, clearly, it makes sense to leave a sticker on your car even after its time has long gone.

But this was a magnet. Why do you still have a Boston Breakers magnet on the bumper of your car? The league folded more than three years ago. You aren’t being an iconoclast; you’re just being obstinate.

No one’s impressed anymore. Take off the magnet. Just…take it off.

edit: I’ve just recently been informed that Boston Breakers paraphenalia has been used for the past few years as code for local lesbians. So…I guess never mind. You gals just keep doing your thing.

Appropos of nothing in my life, I received an email from Mr. JZ about his recent trip to one of the many Cheesecake Factory restaurants that dot our modern urban professional landscape. He made mention that he has never particularly cared for this restaurant. I countered by saying I’m not sure I’ve ever actually had a meal there. However, I have long held this theory that I’d really hate it, and have no real desire to ever dine there.

The basis for this opinion comes from the following points:

1. Whenever I walk by one, most of the people inside look like douchebags. I don’t like dining with douchebags.

2. I generally seem to know of them existing in malls or in mallified city plazas and squares. Which means it’s just another Applebee’s or Olive Garden but hopped up on its own sense of self-importance. Wherever you are, I’m sure there are plenty of amazing upscale restaurants that offer something unique an un-cookie cutter-ed. Likely with better food.

3. People who get all excited to go to Cheesecake Factory are probably the same people who, when they were early 20-something recent college graduates, got all excited at having a “cocktail party” at their new apartment. “Look at me, I’m grown up and fancy and I do adult things now. No kegs and Beirut for me…I worked all week, and I’m wearing suspenders and a blazer. Let’s have some fondue!”

4. It’s name consists of the most over-rated desert of all time and a horrifically tedious place of business. The only places I’d be less inclined to go to would be the Coconut Assembly Line and the Ketchuped Yams Database Management Firm.

Again, I have never eaten there, so maybe I’m wrong. But I’m probably not. I think my unnecessarily vitriolic reaction to JZ’s Cheesecake dilemma stems from my realization earlier today that because I am going to Molly and Jorge’s wedding this weekend in Maine (best wishes and preliminary congrats to the happy couple, by the way), I will be afforded the chance to dine at the eating establishment of all eating establishments: Eggspectation. While this trip to Le Cirque Des Oeufs won’t be as good as my last one, a trip to Eggspectation is still a trip to Eggspectation. Grilled potatoes, here I come!

(Note: you might think that I’ve had an excellent weekend just because all I have to complain about on here is unwarranted attacks on a restaurant chain I’ve never been to. And you’d be absolutely right.)

TBO.com: D-Rays/Orioles game story

Miguel Tejada’s relay throw home pegged catcher Ramon Hernandez in the mitt. Crawford seemed to beat the tag but was called out by home plate umpire C.B. Bucknor.

Frustrated by the call, Crawford got back to his feet, pulled his helmet off and emphatically stomped on the ground. That’s when he came down wrong and crumbled to the ground clutching his left leg.

Does that mean that Carl Crawford should be listed day-to-day with a hissy fit injury?

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The Onion on the Royals new coach

If you’ve seen those ads, you’ll know this is a genius article. If you haven’t, then you won’t care.

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USA Today: Rockies are successful because Jesus loves them

If you look up “holier than thou” in the dictionary, you might stumble upon a reference to this article. I’ll ignore the random Lutheran elder fan who thinks that not showboating and trash talking is the only way to perform as a team. I’ll ignore the chairman and CEO Charlie Monfort calling the process of having a bunch of losing seasons as “go[ing] to hell and back to know where the Holy Grail is.” (Apparently being in last place in your division and surrendering more runs than you’ve scored is the Holy Grail of baseball.)

We’ll just take these two quotes. From the aforementioned Monfort:

I don’t want to offend anyone, but I think character-wise we’re stronger than anyone in baseball. Christians, and what they’ve endured, are some of the strongest people in baseball. I believe God sends signs, and we’re seeing those.

And from GM Dan O’Dowd

You look at things that have happened to us this year … You look at some of the moves we made and didn’t make. You look at some of the games we’re winning. Those aren’t just a coincidence. God has definitely had a hand in this.

First of all, as we’ve gone over before, Christians in the U.S. haven’t “endured” anything. They are in the majority population wise, close to every single politician and leader calls themselves a Christian (regardless of how Christian they act), and our society rearranges itself around Christian holidays like Christmas and Easter in a way that we would never do around Ramadan or Yom Kippur. Having to deal with people wondering if The DaVinci Code might be real doesn’t count as a giant struggle. When was the last time a North American government rounded up the Christians and put them in a camp?

Even in the context of baseball, it seems that at least half of the players across the league point to the sky in thanks for every seeing-eye single, and occasionally claim Jesus swings the bat for them. I hardly think that being a Christian while playing baseball in the United States in any way makes you a put-upon victim. I doubt your feathers would be even remotely ruffled. If all the Christian players on the Rockies were immigrants from China, I’d listen to the “enduring so much” argument. But, yeah, they’re not.

And a final memo to Monfort, O’Dowd and everyone else associated with the Rockies: God’s not in the 3rd base box, slapping his nose and caressing his pecs, sending you signs on how to win your game. His hand is in nothing. He doesn’t give a shit about your team. And if He did, and He was helping you guys win in lieu of taking care of the actual suffering and poverty and destruction that festers in the world, He’d have a lot to fucking answer for.

Anyway, we all know God’s on the side of only one team: the Red Sox, suckas!

edit: The Nation chimes in with a response to this article. I hadn’t heard about these Faith Day promotions. I’m speechless. Ugh.

Last night I went to the English language debut production of Heads Or Tails?”, a Chinese drama written by “a major force in contemporary Chinese dramatic theatre,” Meng Jinghui. It’s the pet project of a Tufts professor, who worked very hard over the last few years to get it translated and imported to our shores.

And it…was…horrendous. I mean bad. Really bad. Awfully bad. When I think about it, I double over in pain as if someone has just punched me in the stomach. I don’t think I can even talk about it.

Wait…wait, no I can. I must.

Full rant after the jump.

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