SleepingPoliceman

So we’ve been meaning to reboot this site (which has, as you might be aware, been dormant for a couple of months) since the start of the new year. Well, what better time to do that than on this historic day? None…none better time.

That being said, I was up early on the west coast to watch the inauguration events unfold. And I kept a little live diary of it. It’s after the fold. I will come back and edit it later, but as of this posting (9:46am PST) I’m just putting up what came out in real time. Welcome back, SP readers.

(Reuters/Brian Snyder)

(more…)

I don’t know if anything else needs to be said. Congratulations, America.

OK, yeah, again, it’s been a while. The Red Sox didn’t make it happen, which is oddly fine. (What a strange world we live in.) Lisa came out for a very fun visit to L.A. School has been progressing nicely, with a lot of work mixed in with a bit of fun.

But there’s no time for all that now. No, now it’s time to do the democracy thing. And, yeah, I know what you’re thinking: this election isn’t really that big a deal. I mean, our secretary of the Commonwealth William Galvin isn’t even on the ballot this year. If you can’t vote for him, then why even bother showing up?

I hear you. And the answer, of course, is simple: you have to go and vote so you can make sure weed and gayness stay illegal. Isn’t that what’s important?

Now…not enough time has been spent in this space talking about this election. I can’t explain why. So much has happened, almost all of it worth commenting on. What can I say? There’s no excuse. We dropped the ball. Hopefully you’ll forgive us.

I’ve wanted to write more in the past week or two, but frankly, I’ve been nervous. I don’t like being in the position where the side I’m pulling for has a comfortable lead. Right now, I feel the same way I did during game 4 against St. Louis in ‘04: the score is 3-0 in the bottom of the ninth, two outs, the Sox have a three games to none lead in the Series, and I can think of is, “there’s a runner on base; if Renteria gets a hit, the next guy can hit a homer to tie it, and we could have this all swept out from under us.” I don’t know if I’m a pessimist with a thin shell of optimism, or the other way around. Either way, I get scared when I’m excited, and I’m excited. And scared.

Anyway, the takeaway message is this: even if you can’t vote for William Galvin, you should still get out there and vote. I already have, because I cheated and voted early via absentee ballot. I’m hoping that this will be the first time since 1996 that my Presidential vote in either a primary or general election has gone to the eventual winner. I’m also going to try to vote again tomorrow under the name Mickey Mouse…but that’s only if I can follow the complicated instructions my new ACORN friends have given me.

I’m rambling. Go vote. Vote for change. Don’t let this all get swept out from under us. Can we do this?

…I think you know the answer.

Vote For Change: find your polling location

Two quick Palin-related things:

1. boston.com: Hackers break into Sarah Palin’s e-mail account

It wasn’t immediately clear how hackers broke into Palin’s Yahoo! account … A hacker also might have sent a forged e-mail to her account tricking her into revealing her own password.

I am having a love affair with the idea that Sarah Palin fell for a phishing scam, and now her personal emails are circulating the internet. “@Hello, S. Palin – you may have already won a prize!!!@”

2. This was the main story/image and sub-story on CNN.com just now:

I’m assuming no one asked, “Why are you and your staff refusing to comply with a legal court order?” Although, sadly, that might not have really stumped her, since “I’m above the law” seems to be a valid answer for her.

The posts here have been focused a lot in the past few months on topics of sports and arts. (I’ll let you decide which is the bread and which is the circuses.) But what better night than Super Tuesday to bring us back into the political realm?

The big headlines as of this writing focus on Hillary winning California soundly. But progressive sites and even mainstream pundits are pointing out that Obama had a big night. It looks like the race is still close.

On the other side, Heart Huckabee somehow found a way to jump back into the race. Apparently, being a very hardcore right-wing “let’s make God’s law the law in America” candidate can help you win Republican primaries in the south. Who knew? On the other hand, Nathan Petrelli Mitt Romney looks a little washed up, winning his Rep. friends in MA and carrying Mormonland, but not much else. “Frank discussions,” indeed. McCain looks to be pretty close to locking up the nomination, as everyone in the GOP sort of looks at each other, shrugs and says, “Meh? Meh.”

Given the roster of candidates who started in the race, I gotta say: it could be worse. Of the remaining real candidates (sorry, Ron Paul…and sorry to the people on Murdock Street that have the huge Paul sign with the blinking Christmas lights around it), only Huckabee would be a truly scary president. And I don’t care how much extra boost he got tonight or how personable he seems whenever he’s chatting with pundits…his religious views are too extreme even for the Republicans. Look, I don’t want an (R) next to the name of the next resident of the White House…but if it’s really down to McCain and Romney, then whatever. Neither looks that bad in comparison to the W. crew.

All that being said, I think that I’m ready to go all-in on the junior senator from Illinois:

MSNBC: Obama Super Tuesday speech

Dude can definitely orate. Methinks I’m going to have to sit down with The Blueprint For Change in the near future to see if we finally have the candidate that I can pledge my full devotion to. It hasn’t really happened yet in a major election…but this really could be different.

In other words, I haven’t fully caught Obama fever, but I have a strong case of Barack sniffles. And my forehead is feeling very, very warm.

Last night, George W. Bush delivered his seventh and final State of the Union address. A good time was had by all, especially Republican legislators who deeply feel that Catholic Mass doesn’t have enough standing up and sitting down.

It’s good to feel so active in the political process and that you’re being a good dooby citizen by watching the speech. It’s nice to be reminded that the same patterns work all the time in cajoling the proper reaction out of the congressional audience (it’s either “statement we all agree on / statement we all agree on / controversial stance that only my party members like!” or “controversial statement / controversial statement / seriously questionably ethical controversial statement / we all support and love the troops!”). And it’s fun to watch the walk out of the president after the speech, when the leader of the free world ends up having to deal with a clutch of Washington insiders acting like 9 year olds clamoring behind the dugout waiting for a slugger to sign their ticket stub after batting practice.

But Lisa and I both think that W missed an important solution to two of the problems he brought up. He doesn’t want to risk important human lives for stem cell research. He wants to solve the problem of illegal immigrants. How about this: if you’re in the country illegally, and you can roll up to the local INS office with four fresh and researchable batches of embryonic stem cells, you get a green card. Boom. Two birds and all that.

Does Homeland Security pay residuals for brilliant ideas?

Let’s dabble a little with some recent news stories, shall we? Yes…yes, we shall.

1. The Guardian: It’s not fair to ask Mukasey about waterboarding, Bush tells senators

I know this story is a week or so old, but…seriously? This is what it’s come to? It’s “not fair” to ask the prospective attorney general whether he thinks that torture is a bad thing? “He doesn’t know whether we use that technique or not?” Well…when are you going to let him know? Is that part of the employee orientation after he gets sworn in? “OK, we have three different retirement plans. There’s two different Fidelity packages and a new one from ING. People seem to be taking to that. What else? Oh, right…we occasionally tie hooded prisoners to boards, hold them upside down, and pour water on them so they feel like they’re drowning. It’s a good way to get answers…not necessarily right ones, but still, answers. And you also get two 15 minute coffee breaks during the day.”

Jesus. Plus there’s this:

“We are at war and we cannot win this war by wishing it away or pretending that it does not exist,” he [Bush] told the rightwing Heritage Foundation.

How on earth could we possibly forget we’re at war? It’s on the news every night…because it’s a total clusterfuck. Anyway, going to the translation machine…does this mean that wondering if our government is using (or condoning the use of) inhumane, torturous acts that we are pretending that we aren’t fighting people? Doesn’t it seem more like asking such probing questions is very much validating the fact that we are at a war, and are just making sure our civil and military leaders aren’t crossing the line in fighting that war? I mean…seriously?

As for this statement:

“The American people must know that whatever techniques we use are within the law.”

Is it just me, or does that sound like he’s planning on having Congress retro-actively make waterboarding legal, just like he did with the wiretapping? When will we have secret waterboard courts set up? Can we get it ready by the March thaw?

Ugh.

2. boston.com: Georgia plans service to pray for rain

This is from the spokesman for the governor of an entire state:

“The only solution is rain, and the only place we get that is from a higher power.”

Higher power meaning low-pressure areas, cold fronts and the jet stream. I guess a plan of prayer and water conservation is a decent drought defier…I mean, at least water conservation is on the list. As for the several faiths that will be represented, I have a feeling it will be a handful of Christian denominations, with maybe a priest or rabbi thrown in. I would love it for a Native American medicine man to be there, a-dancin’. Love. It.

Seriously, do you think God is all that interested in whether or not it rains on your constituents, governor? He’s much more interested in Rudy’s stance on abortion and helping college kids win football games.

3. Sky News: Stripper Spanks Teen In Surprise Blunder

England is a crazy place. I just like that the teacher was OK with the Britney song and the collar-and-leash combo. Whenever that teacher meets with the principal, it will be one of the funniest performance reviews ever.

4. boston.com: Priest faces charges of stalking TV late-night host O’Brien

Amazing. What else can you say about this? Amazing. Way to go, St. Patrick’s of Stoneham…you’ve done us all proud.

This afternoon, on my way back from a delightful breakfast in the best booth at Zaftigs, I picked up a light denim jacket that was on sale at the Gap. (I know, I know…I feel dirty.)

This jacket was one of those Project Red dealies, where part of the proceeds go to help Bono save Africans. Which, you know, I’m in favor of. But since the jacket was on sale (twenty bucks instead of something ridiculous like sixty), does that mean less Africans get saved?

Answer: yes. At least according to the lady at the register. So the Gap will still take its full profits, and then skim off whatever is left and throw it towards AIDS babies. Nice. Glad I could help.

Of course, maybe the Saturday afternoon employee doesn’t know the full intricacies of the company’s (red) policy. Maybe she was just hoping to use my liberal guilt to sell me a $30 t-shirt too. I don’t know. But I do know that, if I had really wanted to help, I should have listened to the Buy (Less) people and just donated directly. In fact, I might just take the money I saved by buying the jacket on sale and cut a check for The Global Fund right now.

(Note: I won’t really do that. Instead I’ll use that money to help me pay for the car repairs I needed to have done last week. Then I’ll wear my new jacket while I drive that car around, sucking up petroleum resources and polluting the air. I’m also going to start littering out the window, kicking sick kids and voting Republican. But, you know, I could have written that check. So there.)

boston.com: New law expands power to wiretap

So the White House continually flaunts and disregards the current law, doing whatever it wants regardless of people’s rights…and the response is to loosen the laws and give him more power? Interesting move, Congress.

Just before midnight on Saturday, Congress passed the Protect America Act of 2007, which was largely drafted by the White House and received no committee hearing.

Yeah, I generally do the things that I’m not ashamed of and that aren’t suspect at all just before midnight on the weekends and without going through the normal procedural channels. And does our current government have an “Orwellian Lingo For Dummies” book lying around somewhere in D.C.? They’re trying to make the names of these things funny at this point, right?

Second, Bush has said his original surveillance program was restricted to calls and e-mails involving a suspected terrorist, but the new law has no such limit.

Now they don’t have to lie when it comes out they were spying on their political enemies…it’s fully legal.

As a check against abuse, the law requires Attorney General Alberto Gonzales and Michael McConnell, director of national intelligence, to design procedures for the program and to submit them for review by a secret national security court that normally approves warrant applications for intelligence-related wiretapping on US soil.

Oh…well, never mind the snarkiness. I didn’t realize that there was a plan in place to “check against abuse,” which will be drawn up by the potential abusers and reviewed by a secret society somewhere. That makes me feel better.

Good job with the mandate, Democrats…you’re really shoring up support for ‘08 with moves like this. When can we get that viable third party up and running, again?

Fake edit: OK, OK…technically 287 pairs of jeans. But all of them shoulder the blame for this.

I was going to just email this to PT this morning, but screw it – I’m feeling saucy.

Read these and smile while you die a little on the inside.

• House questions ‘overreaching’ FBI spy powers
• FBI Issues New Rules For Getting Phone Records
• Bush warns Dems to take offer in firings
• House panel to vote on subpoenas in U.S. attorney firings

Wheee!
/jz