SleepingPoliceman

I wouldn’t describe the following link as necessarily Not Safe For Work. But…it isn’t really safe either. Be warned: it is full of foul and explicit language…which is sort of the point. The title of the article is accurate and apt.

Robert Edward Auctions: Can we even run this? 1898 Obscene Language Baseball Document – Not For Kids!

I’m sure I’m being naive, but it amazes me that people used such harsh and foul expletives back in the 1890s. That’s 110 years ago. William McKinley hadn’t even been shot, yet apparently ballplayers were throwing around phrases like, “I’ll make you suck my ass!” I know that things weren’t as innocent and chaste back then as I thought…but still, it’s somewhat shocking to see these things in print.

Those are some filthy mouths. What would Jimmy Collins of the Boston Beaneaters think? (From the looks of it, probably something about a dog.)

History and baseball: what can’t they do?

• Keith Foulke dislikes baseball.
• David Wells does not want to play in Boston.
• Manny doesn’t have to report until March 1st (Oh, and I forget, is he asking for a trade this week?).
• Johnny Damon is a Yankee.
• Theo is gone back.
• Through it all, the media continues to stir the pot.

Just push it all aside. Because behind all the drama, behind all the bullshit, there’s some baseball to be played.

(I had planned on linking to the respective articles referencing each bullet item. That was until Boston.com required me to create and account and login to access the articles. I’m probably the last one holding out, but Boston.com can go fuck a goat before I register on their (actually otherwise pretty great) site. Go to hell, Boston.com!)

JESUS CHRIST BELLSOUTH, FIX YOUR FUCKING SYSTEMS SO THAT I CAN FUCKING SEND EMAILS.

FUCK!

Like Fred and Ginger or Pam and Tommy, this partnership seemed inevitable. Who didn’t see the Nuthin’ But A G Thang video, or heard the “X can eat a big fat dick” part of Dre Day, and didn’t say, “You know, that Snoopy guy has GOT to team up with the Chrysler dude”? Honestly, I can’t believe it’s taken this long. Can an update of Chronic Break/Doggy Dogg World be far behind?

Can we get a motherfuckin’ moment of silence…for this fine American automobile? Huh…yeah. Niggas be brown nosin’ these imports ‘n shit. Takin’ Toyotas out to eat, spendin’ money on these Hondas, knowwhatI’msayin’?. I treat a riceburner like 7-Up: I never have, I never will. I tell a whip like this: whip, you without me is like Hank Ford without the Model-T…you’ll never go public! Hey, Lee, give me a light, nigga.

We would like to welcome you all to the fabulous Detroit West. I own this motherfucker, and my name is Ike-Oke. You all niggers know who I am, you all niggers are tearing up shit. But we have something old as well as something new for you all tonight…

Top of the charts.

edit: When I was out in the Bay Area visiting Meserve this past May, we were at a bar watching a Committments-esque cover band. This whiny brat of a 30-something woman kept requesting Doors songs, even though the singer repeatedly told her they don’t do any Doors songs. Finally after her tenth request to “Play some DOORS!!!”, he looked at her and said, “What, does your dad get money every time someone plays a song by the Doors?” And she looked at him and said, “My father’s Lee Iacocca.” The band started a Motown song and she left. I have no idea if her claim was true or not…but I like to believe it was.

edit 2: So are we not allowed to cuss on this thing?

[Joe]: fuck, no!